Not Saving? Not Your Fault – Blame Subconscious Money Attitudes

We all have subconscious money attitudes of one nature or another. You may have heard your parents say over and over “don’t ask for things; you should be grateful for what you get”. Words like this that generate a feeling of guilt may discourage you from ever seeking a promotion at work.   Or “if you are a good person and do what’s right, money will take care of itself”. Sometimes caregivers dangerously assume that somehow their money challenges will work out because they have given so much to the world.  Often sayings like these were meant to apply to a particular situation, but they become ingrained in our conscience as a guiding principle to live by.

One Family – 4 Different Money Attitudes

Kids learn basics about money at a pretty early age.  At 6 they can grasp the concept of allowance.  At 8 they learn the cost of things. At 12 they have the capacity to learn how to spend wisely.

I’m the eldest of 4 siblings and the age difference with the youngest is 7 years. When I was 7 my father left his company and struck out on his own.  We went through 5 very lean years. My mother returned to work when my brother went to kindergarten. And then Dad began to earn more, so we moved to a wealthier neighborhood 8 years later.

From 8 to 15, key money learning years, I developed a preoccupation with money because it was often a worry topic with my parents. I also learned how precious a dollar was and became a really good saver.  For my brother, he went from 0 to 8 during the same period and missed the leaner years.  Although he is cautious about his money, he is also more status focused – collecting very expensive antiques.  My sisters have different variations of money attitudes between the two of us.  None of us are the same.

Why Your Money Attitude Matters

Let’s say money means status to you. You will use money to collect and experience the same things as the social group you value – like brands and vacations.  This group may be the next level at your company, or the social group in your neighborhood.  You will spend a lot of money on “wants” rather than what you may truly “need”.  If money means survival to you, you may save for the sake of saving.  You will save for that rainy day, and may never spend money on just enjoying life.

It’s important to understand what money means to you because it forms a frame of reference in your life. It will influence how you make certain decisions and how you behave with your money. Your attitudes can also sabotage your efforts to save more. 

Related Topic: 8 Questions Defining Money Obsession

Information shown is for illustrative purposes only and is not intended as investment, legal or tax planning advice. Please consult a financial adviser, attorney or tax specialist for advice specific to your financial situation. Behavioral Cents, LLC and any third parties listed, linked to or otherwise appearing in this message are separate and unaffiliated and are not responsible for each other’s products, services or policies.

Carrie Rattle is a Financial Therapist and the CEO at BehavioralCents. She is an executive veteran of the financial services industry and works with professional women on their mind and money behaviors to help them build an equal voice in the world. Thoughts always welcome: carrierattle@behavioralcents.com.