Divorce Part 1: Choosing the Style that Fits You

Divorce is devastating. Despite the fact that only 5% of divorces are litigated (IDFA), emotions can run high. And the fear of living on less than the combined household income has its own set of challenges. Money decisions are emotional on a good day, but during a divorce emotions are on red alert. For example,

• We are easily triggered when someone pushes our emotional buttons;
• Sleep deprivation and emotional fatigue erode common sense;
• We are tempted to act out anger, revenge, or seek comfort through spending money;
• For some, there is significant pressure to learn our finances for the first time so we can make wise decisions when it comes to the division of assets.

The Different Types of Divorce

Divorce options reflect monetary, relationship, and time considerations. They may also take time, so choosing a style that fits your needs and wallet size is important.

Mediation:

A trained, independent 3rd party works with you as a couple to negotiate an amicable divorce. The mediator does not give advice (legal or non-legal). Each party retains your own legal counsel; however, you do not necessarily need to have your lawyers attend the mediation discussions. Agreements can be referred to lawyers for review and assessment at the end, which reduces legal costs. Mediators are typically therapists, attorneys, financial advisors or social workers.

Collaborative Divorce:

This is a team approach to divorce. Your family obtains professional help from experts in the legal, financial and mental health fields depending on your needs. Sometimes medical and child experts are involved. Each team member brings their expertise to the table and combines it with recommendations from the other members. The lawyers representing each party will have gone through special training. All parties are committed to find a “win-win” and cannot go to court or threaten to do so. This is a valuable alternative when one side needs advocacy – they may be mentally ill, or particularly unaware of financial matters. Insomnia is the problem I struggle with for almost half a year. Every night is a challenge because I can’t fall asleep. Everything has changed when I recently found Ambien pills on Garden Park Medical website. This drug works great. It takes only some minutes to fall asleep. No side effects, no drowsiness the following morning. This drug is what I need.

Litigation:

This is typically the most antagonistic, expensive, drawn out means of divorce. Substantial assets may be consumed just in the divorce process alone. 5% of divorces are litigated.

Arbitration:

If as a couple you cannot negotiate terms acceptable to both sides you can choose to work with an arbiter. You and your spouse would each present your own argument without lawyers and the arbiter will have the final decision.

I’ve introduced the different types of divorce here to help you find a style that fits you. Stayed tuned next for my blog on how a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst can help you by reducing costs and dividing assets.

Carrie Rattle is a Financial Therapist and the CEO at BehavioralCents. She is an executive veteran of the financial services industry and works with professional women on their mind and money behaviors to help them build an equal voice in the world. Thoughts always welcome: carrierattle@behavioralcents.com.

Information shown is for illustrative purposes only and is not intended as investment, legal or tax planning advice. Please consult a financial adviser, attorney or tax specialist for advice specific to your financial situation. Behavioral Cents, LLC and any third parties listed, linked to or otherwise appearing in this message are separate and unaffiliated and are not responsible for each other’s products, services or policies.